Let me start out by saying how happy I am that they went with Kevin Conroy (Batman) and Mark Hamil (Joker) for the voice acting. I really think there’s only one man who can play the animated Joker, and he happens to be a jedi. In general, the voice actors chosen are fantastic, as many of them are reprising their roles from the early 90s animated series. I do like the overall look of the game, it’s quite shiny, and I will most likely get it.

That said, there are a few things that really got to me in the short time I played Mr. Dark Knight himself. The biggest issue being that while the voice acting is brilliant, the physical movement of the character’s faces is too stiff.

Here’s a pretty good video from the demo that shows the character’s speaking. Watch it in HD if you can, the graphics really are too lovely not to.

Watching that demo video shows what I’m talking about, the characters felt like puppets to me, with video of their mouths moving slightly placed on top. The voices contain so much emotion, but it just doesn’t match up perfectly with the character’s physical movements that it’s hard to become immersed in the game. I understand the reasoning behind Batman, he’s a stoic, flat figure. Staying calm to make other feel better about their situation but with a hint of world weariness that shows how much he just wants to go home, take off the cowl and put on some nice fluffy batslippers and relax. That’s what Kevin Conroy describes with his version of Batman, and if the game were animated like the WB show, I don’t think I would mind that he really doesn’t move. But this is 3D, this is engaging theatre, where characters are exaggerated to add dynamism to the total experience, and the physical acting of the characters just don’t fully do that.

Perhaps we should look at the most exaggerated villain the demo has to offer, The Joker:

Unfortunately, the trailer cuts away very quickly so you only see a few seconds of him speaking at a time, but if you watch the first 10 seconds of the demo video again you can see him speaking uncut. His cheeks are two apples, always prominent with his permanent smile, and his mouth never seems to close all the way. It’s stretched, as it should be, but at the same time, not stretched enough. Listening to Mark Hamil’s performance without video brings a more dynamic image to mind, but his face doesn’t change too much in the game. Watching it again, I think this is due to the fact that his lips move a basic up and down, and don’t form the words like they should. Try saying, “Welcome to the madhouse, Batman! I set a trap, and you sprang it gloriously!”, even while smiling you can feel your lips forming the shapes of the words, and even exaggerating it in a mirror makes you look crazier than the Joker does in this game.

His physical movements hurt his character a bit too, I think he’s far too flaily, he has as much physical expression as a lollipop. Part of the attraction of the Joker is how smooth he is, fluid expression comes naturally even as he screams gibberish. Here, he’s a puppet. All they need to do is attach some strings to him and it’ll be perfect.

Which brings me to my next point, the character designs. Oh, the character designs…

Was there a need to redesign Harley Quinn’s outfit? She’s as well known for her skintight-lycra bodysuit as Joker is for his purple suits, and we all love her for it. The only reason the developers decided to change her outfit was probably this:

Seriously, it’s got to be because she doesn’t show enough skin, nevermind that the bloody thing is SKINTIGHT. I’m not sure why this bothers me so much, that they decided to sex her up, probably because it’s completely unnessicary and even the Character Bio screen that you unlock in the game shows her in her onepiece. I know the onepiece suit has been redesigned too, but the changes are small and flattering, not oversexualized. Harley isn’t supposed to be a sex kitten as much as she is bumbling and stupid, Poison Ivy, on the hand…

Is still over sexualized and wearing nothing, but at least it fits her character more.

There’s the matter of Killer Croc. His character design evolved since the first concept art pieces surfaced:

Perhaps he took more steroids? This ridiculous made-up muscle creature they turned him into is one of my pet peeves. I see it all the time in comics, meaty characters who have muscle on top of muscle on top of muscle when it’s just kind of placed there because it looks cool. It looks bloody stupid, and like the character designer didn’t bother to consider humanoid anatomy. They did this for Bane too, and it looks just as gross. In fact, now that I put that body builder photo next to the Killer Croc concept…I think the artist just used him as their model. I wonder if they stumbled upon that photo the same way I did, Googling “gross body builder.”

I much prefer the original design, frankly. But in the end, Killer Croc is just a Locust with a dental problem.

Even though I nitpick these problems with the characters, the actual gameplay is quite fun. I’m generally more of a run-in-guns-blazin’ kind of gal, so I’ll need to get used to being quiet and calculating now with Batman. Hopefully, the fact that combat is pretty free-flowing and you trying to avoid physical contact will appeal to people who can’t grasp first-person shooters.

The run and walk combination will also take some getting used to for me, since when I run I tend to have a hard time changing direction. Oh well, that’s not an issue most people will have I think. Fighting is very easy to get used to. You can button mash or calculate combos with ease. I never felt overwhelmed once.

The health system is still foreign to me, the demo didn’t show how you heal and it seemed like Batman had very little health for being so bulky. The full games looks like it’s going to offer a LOTof fun elements, but the demo was a nice, albeit short, taste. Oh Dark Knight, I can’t wait to fall under your stoic, unmoving spell.

2005

2007

To be fair, Hayden’s super suit doesn’t actually show up in the 2007 trailer, but here it is:

So, what’s the storyline and why was this game halted for so long?

Well, the story takes place in made-up Lasria (it’s Russia, we all know it’s Russia), where we find ourselves in the middle of a biochemical war. An American Agent, Hayden, is sent in to destroy the creator of this horrible infection (known as Technocyte) Mezner. Within his first encounter with the bearded super-villian, Hayden has his arm evily jabbed by Mezner’s right hand man, The Nemisis. Ouchie!

Hayden on the lefthand side, Nemesis on the righthand side

Hayden’s arm transforms into a slimy, metallic, biofantabulous…arm that holds a glaive. This glaive is, of course, Hayden’s power. He can kill enemies with it, pick up weapons, explode things, carry elemental power, open locks, grab bananas, slice watermelons, and open 3 letters at once. It really is the go-to tool for the everyday mutant!

Look at it burn! A dangerous weapon and convenient source of heat!

Anyhoo, Hayden progresses through Russia Lasria, looking to kill Mezner and halt his plans to expose the virus to the rest of the world, successfully creating a planet of pissed off zombies and mutants. Along his journey, Hayden fights through tons of fat biohazard-suited humans and creepy Silent Hill/Resident Evil style mutants and zombies.

So, why the drastic difference between 2008’s Dark Sector and 2005’s? According to the developers, the shift in focus by other gaming companies and publishers contributed to a story change, as well as adding a realism element that they hoped fans would enjoy. They wanted Hayden to be more like a superhero, and therefore more relatable. He stands out in a modern setting, whereas he might blend in, in a sci-fi setting.

To be honest, I don’t see what was wrong with sticking with the space idea. Mass Effect (takes place in space) was also released this year to quite a bit of success. I don’t really see how making Hayden a superhero is the same as making him relatable to fans. I suppose his mental conflicts do make the story a tad more believable, but he could have just the same amount of mental anguish up in space. Oh well, onto the pros and cons

Pros: This game has some fantastic settings and the graphics really do look better than their original 2005 concept. The concept art for the locations is quite stunning and accomplishes the goal of “don’t play this game in the dark.”

The glaive itself is a pretty cool idea, and I like all of the powers that centers around it.

Cons: Hoo boy, the cons. The story is somewhat confusing. I found myself asking J “what’s going on?” more than once, only to be met with “I don’t know”. The reason I didn’t play through this game myself is because I felt the controls were kind of awkward and just found myself panicking over having fun. It is a good game to watch though, and I was perfectly content doing that.

Hayden….I hate his character design. My tablet’s not working again (another story for another time), so here’s what I hate the most about him in awkward touchpad format:

It may not be obvious in that image, but he has a really tiny face positioned on a large, round head on top of a neck the same width as his ROUND HEAD! I hate his stupid tiny face. When he has the suit that doesn’t really do anything apparently but look cool and hide his stupid face, he doesn’t look too bad. But when that mask comes off…grrrr….
Also, what the hell is up with his shoulders and arms and why are they disconnected from his torso so much? I did a bit of “2-minute Photoshop plastic surgery” to show how I think he should have looked:

I just realized I didn’t give him a large enough chin, so just imagine this with a proper chin attached.

Yeah, what the hell Digital Extremes?

All character bashing aside, there’s some massive repetitive-level failure during one part of this game. You just keep walking into room after room, mindlessly killing throngs of mutants without much of an explanation.

Also, I’m not going to ruin the ending but I will say that this game does feature slimy, green gas spewing….tentacles…

Yep.

So really, overall this game is pretty…meh. It had some good concepts, great background art and creepy potential but the story just doesn’t draw you in enough to care about a mutant infection escaping the soviet union. Also, Hayden has a stupid tiny face, that’s not the head of a hero to me, not even an anti-hero. That’s the face of a glaive-wielding jerk.

It is worth a rent though, just not a buy.

As promised, I did finish the awesome and highly entertaining game, Portal. Not being as big a gamer as my boyfriend, who was the one to purchase the Orange Box and has subsequently finished all 3 Half-Life episodes as well as Portal several time, I wasn’t quite sure I could make it through the game. It is suspiciously easy once you get the hang of it though, and little details about the game make it quite fun indeed.

Portal starts out with you in what can best be described as a beanie baby-like container, waking up to begin the long series of tests for Aperture Science’s newest little toy, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. You have to complete a series of puzzles using this handy machine that resembles the gravity gun from sister game, Half-Life 2.

This little video probably is the best way to show these fabulous tests in action:

Simple, right? Well kind of. The game really has two sections, the puzzle-solving test mode and the escape mode. Without ruining the ending I’ll just say escape mode feels a little longer than the testing, but this may also be because it’s the action part of the game.

While I was able to get many of the tests on my own, I also found myself in some very aggravating spots. I imagine if I were a bit smarter and a better gamer I wouldn’t have that much difficulty, as the boyfriend easily swept his way through the first time he played. This is an excellent game to play with people, where both of you can decide where and what portals to use.

It isn’t a game that is too short, I thought the testing portion gave me just enough experience to understand how to use the portal gun well so I was prepared for the escape section. It’s also rather nice how the portal gun resembles the gravity gun, in that you are able to pick up and carry objects (sometimes quite heavy)with it.

What really stood out for me was the humour in the game. It’s comforting to know that Valve has a sense of humour about themselves and that is a huge part of making this game enjoyable. With the nonsensical polite chattering the auto-turrets make (they say things like “hello? are you still there? I promise I won’t hurt you…” in a sweet high voice, then proceed to shoot you with all their little might) to the hideaway areas where you can view “behind the scenes” parts of the Aperture building, as well as great graffiti, Portal is an entertaining romp for science.

The ending itself is far more action packed then the rest of the game, and it still contains little snippets of humour that make you forget you’re going to die in 5 minutes. The ending video is great, and gives the possibility for a sequel (maybe?). Even the end credits are entertaining, as you are serenaded by a familiar mechanic voice to a tune called, “Still Alive”. I highly recommend downloading it here, as you can be sure the intoxicating melody and simple verses will get stuck in your head in no time.

In the end, Portal was a great game. Challenging enough to keep you playing and funny enough to keep you entertained. Perhaps the greatest bit of the game is that you are taking part in all of these tests because of the promise of cake and a party.

Just remember, the cake is a lie.